You were in your bedroom on the top floor of your two-storey house, working on your school assignment that was due in two weeks' time. You sighed and minimised your Word window, before clicking on the notice. Up popped your chat box.
Oh great. It was Gilbert, the most annoying guy you knew.
"You: What do YOU want?"
"AwesomePrussian: You. Come on, play nice. Long time, no type. What have you been doing?"
"You: I was chatting with you about 15 minutes ago. And I'm doing homework. You remember homework, right? That stuff that our teachers give us to work on at home?"
"AwesomePrussian: It was longer than that. And I'm far too cool to be doing such menial things as homework. Besides, I'm not at home, so doing it now would defeat the point of 'homework'."
"You: Yeah, probably more like twenty minutes. Still not long enough. And homework is homework, coolness irregardless. And how are you chatting without a computer?"
"AwesomePrussian: No, really, I'm using magic. I'm just that awesome."
"You: I can think of another few words starting with "A" that would describe you a bit better."
"AwesomePrussian: Let me guess... "Amazing"? "Awe-inspiring"? "Astounding"? You're too kind. And I'm using my iPhone, just FYI."
"You: Actually, I was angling more towards "arsehole". But "awful", "annoying" and "aggravating" also fit the bill."
"AwesomePrussian: Du bist scheiße."
"You: What's that supposed to mean!?"
"AwesomePrussian: You heard me >:U"
"You: ...I actually have no idea what that means."
"AwesomePrussian: ...Oh. Use Google Translate, idiot."
You opened up your browser and brought up Google Translate with a few clicks. You copied-and-pasted the phrase, then read the translation and scowled. Then a thought entered your head, and you translated a phrase of your own.
"You: I am not. Du bist ein arschloch."
"AwesomePrussian: You are. Don't deny it. Also, you already called me an arsehole, so it won't work now."
"You: Fine then. You're an... abalone!"
"AwesomePrussian: I'm not a mollusc of any kind! Although I do have awesome "mussels". ;D"
"You: Get over yourself. You're so arrogant!"
"AwesomePrussian: Well you're abominable!"
"You: Am not. You're abhorrent."
"You: You're abtruse."
"AwesomePrussian: You're abysmal."
"You: You're atypically addled."
"AwesomePrussian: I feel achingly accused."
"You: Your airheadedness aggrieves me."
"AwesomePrussian: Your acidity affronts me."
"You: Your acrimony abuses me."
"AwesomePrussian: Your amorality assaults me."
"You: Your awkwardness alarms me."
"AwesomePrussian: ...Well, you're an accruement of algae!"
"You: You're just an ameteurish albino."
"AwesomePrussian: Don't make me acquire my Alsatian."
"You: Don't be stupid. You don't have an Alsatian!"
"AwesomePrussian: I WIN! HA! SUCK IT!"
"You: It wasn't a competition. And you're still an arsehole."
"AwesomePrussian: Are you still assuming that I am an anus? I assure you, I'm not."
"You: Oh, God, Gil. Please stop. I feel like I've just barfed one twenty-sixth of a dictionary."
"AwesomePrussian: I apologize."
"You: That is SO not funny, Gilbert."
"AwesomePrussian: Fine. Sorry. Would a hug make it better?"
"You: ...Sure, why not."
"AwesomePrussian: Open up your window then."
You weren't too sure about how he would go about giving you a hug, or what a window had to do with it, but a hug would be nice. And it would be interesting to see how he would go about giving you one.
You opened up your window and looked down at the Gilbert-less ground, a storey below you. A rustle in one of the large bushes below caught your attention, and a second later a rather dishevelled-looking teen popped out. He looked up at you and waved with a cheeky grin.
"Hey there!" he hollered up.
"Gilbert Beilschmidt, you get out of that garden right now, or I swear--"
"Don't you want a hug? Jump down!" he yelled, cutting you off.
"Jump? Are you crazy? I'll break a leg, or my back, or my butt, or something else important!"
"Rubbish. I'll catch you. Besides," he added, looking thoughtful. "I don't think that you can break your butt. Come on, I'll get you!" He stood below the open window and outstretched his arms up towards you. His white-blonde hair glinted in the sunlight.
"I must be crazy," you muttered to yourself. Then you called down to him, "Okay, Gil, fine. But if you let me die, I will kill you." You swung both legs over the sill, before dropping down safely into Gilbert's arms.
"See? I told you I'd catch you. And I did!" he laughed, then hugged you close, tucking your head under his chin. You wrapped your arms around his neck and squeezed, before craning your neck to peck him on the cheek.
"You, Gilbert Beilschmidt, are terrible. And I love you very much."
Still holding you to him, he kissed you full on the mouth - or tried to, but you turned your head and he only got your cheek. He gave a disappointed whine. "C'mon, kiss!"
You shook your head and smirked. "Not until you say sorry for calling me shitty, and for being such an idiot,"
"That's appalling," Gilbert frowned.
You hit him.
"Sorry!" He yelped.
"Mhm." You slipped out of his grasp and put your hands on your hips, facing him. "What are you sorry for?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.
"F'rc'llingyoush'tty'ndbe'ngstup'd," he mumbled, not meeting your gaze.
"Excuse me? I didn't quite catch that. You're sorry for...?" You cupped a hand to your ear.
"...For calling you shitty and being stupid." He gave you a kicked-puppy look, and you relented.
You opened your arms. "Come here, you big arsehole."
He grabbed you around the waist and hugged you, spinning around. "I am not an arsehole!" he protested.
You kissed his cheek again. "Yes you are. You're my adorable, amazing, and awesome, arsehole of a boyfriend."